ABOUT THE JEALOUSY WE FEEL

HOW TO IDENTIFY JEALOUSY?

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, being jealous means «hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage“ or «disposed to suspect rivalry or unfaithfulness», which seems fair, but not quite like the definition we are looking for.

For the Real Academia Española, jealousy means «The suspicion or concern that the loved one has changed or changes his love, putting it in another»

Jackpot! Quite accurate, I must say.

Now you are going to read some phrases that aren`t from any well-renowned dictionary, however, they are just as official when it comes to identifying jealousy:

• «Are you going out with them again?»
• «What should I do all by myself?»
• «Are you still in that place? Come home now!»
• «Don´t you see how many things I did for you?»
• «I always leave everything aside to be with you»

These are just some examples from a longer list, however, the million-dollar question is: Do they seem familiar to you?

THE BLINDEST PEOPLE ARE THE ONES THAT REFUSE TO SEE

Most of the time we don`t realize the first signs that indicate that we`re facing a person who could eventually develop jealousy.

Generally, we believe that jealousy is a manifestation of the love that our partners feel towards us, and thanks to that, we don`t realize the true nature of these «samples of affection».

In other words, we are blinded by the appreciation that we feel towards them.

At first, you take these «manifestations of love» as normal, and over time, you get used to them because they don’t have much of an impact on your life just yet.

IGNORANCE IS A BLISS THEY SAY

On the other hand, the jealous person considers that their behavior «is normal».

Mainly because their partner agrees with them by ignoring it and remaining silent or simply, in the worst case, they end up accepting their behavior.

This script does nothing but bringing the relationship to an end worthy of William Shakespeare, a love tragedy in which both protagonists end up dead (sentimentally speaking).

One tired by the insecure and toxic behavior of his partner and the other, feeling miserable trying to understand where he was wrong and how come the person he loved so much had abandoned him.

Yes, for the jealous one, he is the one suffering the most.

WHY ARE WE JEALOUS OF OUR PARTNER?

Let’s make it easy, in one of the most memorable scenes from Avengers (2012), Captain America says to Tony Stark the following:

In this dialogue, Tony Stark makes it clear that his suit is not all that he has to offer, that in addition to that he has other attributes, which are also part of his identity.

In most cases, when we have a partner, we focus so much on them that it is as if we isolate ourselves from everything else, i.e, we put on the suit and stop being who we were without them.

Therefore, without the suit, we are nothing more than an empty husk without identity.

It is this loss of self-essence that generates an “overdependence” towards our partner, something that later turns into insecurity and, therefore, causes jealousy.

A HAPPY COUPLE MEANS NO JEALOUSY

The worst mistake we can make is trying to cut the wings of our partner for fear that it will fly so high that we can no longer reach them.

In a relationship, it is always necessary to understand that even though they are a couple, each one has their own life, beliefs, character, a circle of friends, dreams, and aspirations.

It is normal that within these dreams and aspirations there are some divergences.

Hence, we shouldn`t try to cut each other’s careers off just because of our jealousy caused by fear of being abandoned.

«In a relationship where jealousy is present, no dream will ever be accomplished»

This is because the one who wants to grow will never be able to fly because his wings are always clipped, and the other does not fly because he is too busy cutting the wings of his partner, and on top of that, he never bothered learning to fly in the first place.

FROM TODAY ONWARDS

You are going to start analyzing both your behavior and your partner`s in recent months, you better find out that everything you just read is far away from your reality, otherwise, you should really consider grabbing the bull by the horn.

Jealousy between couples is a very common topic so do not hesitate to ask a family member or friend for help on this matter.

It is always good to have an external point of view to help us have a different approach so we can make the best decision.

Many times it happens that we need to make mistakes in order to grow, so it is not necessary to condemn everything that happens to you, walk at your own pace, remember that the goal is not to go fast, but to go far.

Taking into account the aforementioned, I invite you to read the other articles and follow me on Instagram so we can chat.

I would love to read your opinions about jealousy. Do you have any experience to share? Let`s see who gets the trophy of the most jealous experience.

See you in the next article!